Thursday, October 16, 2008

My whacked day

Hey, K - I'm recovering from my day with a very large helping of 70% cocoa washed down with Screech. I highly recommend it.

I drove past the local H.S. school just when the kids were getting out. I almost got into 3 accidents; none of them kid-caused. All were parents, there to pick up there kids. Why High School kids need mommy to pick them up is beyond me. Sure, occasionally you've got to take the little darlings to an important appointment, like, at Abercrombie and Fitch or something, but certainly all of those cars piled up around the school aren't all on urgent consumerist missions. Besides, there is a transit system in this burg, and most people have genuine feet at the ready. But that's another story.

First was Volvo mom, who pulled out into traffic (in front of moi) without looking right. Hey, lady, now I know why you bought yourself a 50K titainium-lined shoebox - 'coz you CANT' DRIVE! (Ever notice how they look like coffins on wheels? That's the clue....)

Honked, swore. About to move right when mom in Mercedes whipped by me in the left lane at about 120 kph. In a school zone. In a ped crossing. Across the street from the bus stop, where the bus was picking up passengers. I suppose the Botox was starting to wear off and she needed to get her kid pronto before her face collapsed into tapioca pudding.

Took my heart out of my throat and started to breathe again, but then noticed the Escalade SUV (does it come with the tacky leopard designer shoulderbag, or is that extra?) stopped ahead in the left lane. It was halfway through the intersection, turning left about 10 meters ahead of me. So I check my shoulder, prepare to edge back to the right to go around her when I notice she has started backing up. In moving traffic. Apparently she changed her mind about making the turn halfway into it, and decided reverse was an acceptable gear to use. Sure it is, if you're a lepton. Not in this dimension though.

That was the good part of the day.

Welcome to our world

Stay tuned...the Whackjobs will soon be with you.